Kristaps Porzingis, Donald Trump, and Lil Uzi Vert Vs The World
by Fart Shitman
Summary: Kristaps Porzingis is training one day when Donald Trump comes to visit him and asks him too play golf. They link up with xo tour life rapper lil uzi vert to fight xxxtentacion and save the world!


1 day during the offseason, kristaps porzingis, star player of the new york Knicks was working very hard lifting weights and shooting 3 pointers so he could improve his game and dm more girls to fuck on instagram. He was deadlifting and doing pec flys and was VERY SWEATY. "hey coach, you think if i do another rep, i could dm this model from Iceland and give her the pipe?" Kristaps asked with enthusiasm. "Of course KP, but your main focus should be on winning a title for the Knicks" the coach sternly exclaimed. "youre right coach, championships first, thots second" KP said. with his renewed focus on winning games, KP started shooting 3 pointers and drained so many that everyone was so surprised and proud of him. While he was doing a pick and roll drill, Kristaps dad busted into the gym. "Dad?" Kp asked confusingly. "what are you doing here?" "Hey son. Hope making buckets and fucking hoes has been going well for you" KP's dad said. "But I'm here to tell you that theres a very special guest here who wants to see you play." KP was very excited by the news thinking it was a Miss America model or someone with a vagina or something. "Who dad?! Who is it?" "I cant tell you but you'll see soon son" his dad said. All of a sudden, a bunch of big buff dudes in suits entered the gymnasium. KP was confused but intrigued and didn't say anything and decided to just let the scenario play out. one of the guys in suits steps into the middle of the basketball court and says "gentlemen, I give you, the PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES, DONALD JOHN TRUMP!" it was so cool it was like a WWE entrance or something cool like that. All of a sudden the doors bust open and in walks Donald trump holding a 44 caliber magnum and a tall boy of national light. He shotguns the beer and everyone claps and then he goes up to KP and says "hey KP, wanted to stop by and see you train, i really admire you on the court and how you get hoes off the court too". "Wow Mr. President, Im so honored! I'm so happy you came to see me play but unfortuately I've been practicing for hours and am very tired now. I don't think i can put in any more work today" KP said while sighing. "Thats ok chief" Donny J said. "To be honest i feel like putting off all of my presidential responsibilities and playing golf. are you in?" he asked. "Of course Mr. President! Bitches love golf so I will snap some picks for my social media accounts!" KP shouted. so they got into air force one and flew to a cool golf course in California to play a leisurely 18 holes.

Donald trump and Kristaps porzingis were having a lot of fun on the golf course. However, on the third hole, the leisurely fun was disrupted. "YAH" was heard in the distance somewhere. "….Mr president did you hear that?" KP asked while scratching his big beautiful head. "I did… weird. Must have been a bird or a bear or something. lets just keep playing" Donny J said. "YAH YAH YAH!" was heard again but this time it was much louder. "Ok what is this tomfoolery going on right now. I think its coming from the forest over there" donny J said. Lo and behold POTUS was right and all of a sudden lil uzi vert the xo tour life rapper came out of nowhere! "Lil Uzi vert! Wtf are you doing here?" KP said. he was clearly in shock. "Yeah what the hell is this man" Donald trump said. "Hey boys, sorry to bother you on your manly golf excursion but we have a big problem" lil uzi vert said worriedly. "everyone in the world got possessed by this rapper named xxxtentacion. he turned them all into bloodthirsty zombies and we need to kill xxxtentacion to turn the population back to normal and save the world!" "Wow, this is a national crisis. Looks like its up to us KP" Donny J said. "Count me in, if i save the world I bet I could fuck any bitch I want!" KP said with an aspiring twinkle in his eyes.

All of a sudden out of nowhere A SHIT TON OF ZOXMBIES CAME AND ATTACKED THE THREE OF THEM ON THE GOLF COURSE. They were in trouble. "Mr. President, do we run?" Lil uzi asked. he pissed his pants he was so scared by the way. "No lil uzi, we are men. and men stand and fight. LETS DO THIS!" Trump yelled. Trump pulled out a beats pill 2.0 and put on "courtesy of the red white and blue" by Toby Keith and started shooting all of the zombies with the magnum he had. He was drinking beers while killing zombies and it was fucking badass. "Fuck it, time to nut up or shut up" KP said in Russian and start bashing zombies heads in with a golf club. Lil uzi vert also decided to nut up and started killing zombies with a samurai sword that he had because he's a weaboo. They killed so many zombies together, maybe around 100 or so. "WHOS NEXT! WHO WANTS IT!" Trump shouted for the whole world to hear. All of a sudden, out of nowhere, xxxtentacion came out! he is so scary but he's really short. "KP, i could kick the shit out of this guy, but i want you to do it" Donny J said. "Really sir? you're letting me save the world? KP said in amazement. "Yes KP, i respect you and want you to have the glory. plus if you kill xxxtentacion and save the world you can dm and fuck any girl you want which is tight" Trump said. "Wow donald, you really are the best wingman ever" Kristaps said while hugging the president. "Hey are you guys done being gay yet? I'm looking for a fight!" Xxxtentacion shouted angrily. "Yes bitch, lets go, fists only" KP said with a devilishly handsome yet intimidating smile on his face. "ill take pleasure in knocking your teeth out" snarled xxxtentacion. they square up and long story short KP is a lot bigger and tougher than xxxtentacion so he killed him in one punch like one punch man. all of a sudden the world turned back to normal and no one was a zombie anymore! "Well KP and lil uzi vert, we saved the world" Donald trump said. "no one is zombies anymore. How wonderful!" "I cant believe we did it, that was gnarly" KP said. "YAH YAH YAH!" Lil uzi shouted! the world was safe! the three finished their golf game and Donald trump won.  
Shortly after, KP flew back to new york and DM'd every single VS angel model and got responses back from all of them! They were so happy and impressed that he saved the world that they agreed to have a massive orgy with KP. after kristaps had a rad orgy with the hottest babes on the planet, he called up Donald trump and said "hey trump, just wanted to say thanks for letting me save the world. I just fucked so many bitches because of it". "Anytime KP, its my job as president to serve my citizens. Have a nice day. Lets golf and kill zombies again sometime!" Trump said as he hung up the phone. Lil uzi vert was somewhere watching anime or something so everyone had a happy ending. the end


End file.
